HomeRoast Digest


Topic: of death & coffee (11 msgs / 527 lines)
1) From: miKe mcKoffee
First thanks for the condolences on the passing of my Mother. She'd been
battling a couple different cancers the passed couple years and she
surrendered to the brain cancer a little after 3am last Thursday. Debi & I
made it down to Fort Bragg early Wednesday afternoon and spent about 10hrs
at the hospital, left shortly before midnight. By this time mom could not
respond in any way but it's believed she could still hear us. Monday was the
last time she responded, briefly slowing reaching out her arms to hug my
older sister Barbara goodbye who'd driven in from Sacramento for the day.
They'd had a rocky relationship but left each other on good terms. We had
good family time plus individual time to with mom to say our private
goodbyes. My two younger sisters Lainee & Kris and my step sister Vicki
stood vigilance through the night. Around 2:30am mom stopped breathing and
Vicki called across the room to wake up Lainee & Kris who had dozed off.
Then Mom started breathing again. (no ventilators or anything to prolong the
suffering, just pain med drip) Earlier Wednesday evening we'd talked about
how mom would like to hear us siblings sing to her one last time. But we
sort of skirted around it and didn't. About 45min after Vicki awoke Lainee &
Kris from the false passing early Thursday morning, Lainee & Kris
spontaneously started singing the same song to Mother, one of her favorite
hymns. As they were softly singing she passed on to continue her eternal
journey. My Mother was always stubborn and wasn't about to leave until she
got her farewell song! I think we all knew this without actually talking
about it which was why we didn't sing earlier. But Lainee and Kris somehow
knew it was time.
It was a wonderful experience for me working with my brothers and sisters
preparing her final public goodbye. Helping my younger brother Jay build the
oak casket, all of us going to the fabric store together to pick out the
lining and pillow material. (lavender satin lining, silk black with purple
brocade for the pillow). You should have seen some of the selections that
didn't make it! (that purple and silver feather boa I found for instance:-)
And just couldn't find the right paisley... We tried to have fun mocking
death and it's transitory hold on us. Sure there were tears with the
laughter but we had to hide them 'cuz one of the things my mom told Vicki
last week was she wanted "no leaking"! This was a celebration of her life.
Sunday afternoon Kris made the casket spray of gardenias, lavender catalaya
orchids, white & lavender roses, wax flower, multiple types ferns and
eucalyptus. I made two complimentary side arrangements.
I also scanned the pictures and did the programs for the service. (Lainee
had started them but was having "technical difficulties". She an art
teacher, and not always on the best of terms with computers, especially
someone else's that isn't set up for her.)
We had lots of other good family experiences the past week but I'll not bore
you further. What does this have to do with coffee? Life's too short to
drink bad coffee! When heading out last Tuesday I brought vac jars of rest
ready Mexican Oaxaca Alta Pluma, Kona Peaberry, Ethiopian Harar Longberry
and just roasted Kona XF and ISH (even brought Foodsaver to keep them vac'd
after opening for grinding). Plus a gallon of chilled white chocolate Kona
mocha (in 6 Sobe' bottles). We got home after midnight last night. First
thing this morning after pulling a Kona XF Cafe' Crema Americano I roasted
1/2 pounders of Pearlman's Estate Kona, Puerto Rican Yauco Selecto, Panama
Mama Cata and Sumatra Classic 4365.  I have a little sign by my main
computer I picked up down in Fort Bragg CA last August when we visited my
youngest brother Gord preparing for his passing on. (he did in April)
"Coffee... It's Not a Matter of Life and Death... It's More Important Than
That". While sure coffee isn't more important than family it's a close
second:-)
BTW, sorry state of affairs in Fort Bragg California. Since we were down in
April this year a Charbucks has taken root!
Kona Konnaisseur miKe mcKoffee
URL to Rosto mods, FrankenFormer etc.http://mdmint.home.comcast.net/coffee/Rosto_mod.htm

2) From: Pecan Jim Gundlach
Mike,
You and your siblings deserve praise for the mature and life affirming 
way of working with your mother's final stages of life.
      Jim Gundlach
On Oct 6, 2004, at 4:01 PM, miKe mcKoffee wrote:
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3) From: Gary White
Mike,
My condolences to you on the death of your mother and brother.  I know it's
difficult as my siblings and I are now taking turns providing in-home
hospice care for my terminally ill father whose prostate cancer has spread
to his brain and my mother is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's.  I loved
your perspective on the process and the personal touch that you gave your
mom.  Thanks for sharing.
Best,
Gary

4) From: Gene Smith
Thank you for sharing your family experiences, Mike.  I found them both 
moving and thought provoking.
Gene Smith
riding the wild learning curve, in Houston

5) From: Gary Townsend
Mike, thank you for sharing. That you can share something as personal
as the passing of your mother with us here @ SweetMaria's is really
something special and unique. I am glad to know you, even if it's only
on the internet. Your mother was truly blessed to bring up such a
wonderful bunch of kids into this world. You're the proof of that.
She's in a much better place, and the pain and suffering from the
cancer is over. Peace Be With You, Always. Gary Townsend
On Wed, 6 Oct 2004 14:01:30 -0700, miKe mcKoffee  wrote:
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6) From: Ben Treichel
Mike,
I'm glad to hear that you were able to give your Mom a good send-off.
Ben
miKe mcKoffee wrote:
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7) From: aubrei
Mike - I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother and so encouraged to read of the way you & your family handled it.  I don't often write into the List though I read most of them, but I had to respond to this one.  My dad is fighting several kinds of cancer at the moment, and we're in one-day-at-a-time mode.  I'm always looking for, and so pleased to find here, true experiences of how others handle this most difficult of situations.  And oddly, some of the best conversations I've had with my mom, along with some of the good times with the family, have been over coffee.  It's a comfort for which I'll always be grateful.  Faith love & hope, Mike, and thanks so very much for giving that encouragement to the List.  Take care now,
- aubrei

8) From: AlChemist John
Mike, it is no bore at all.  It is something virtually all of us can relate 
to.  I would like to ramble on in eloquence like you do, but it just isn't 
working.  I'm glad you approached it as you did, and got through it.
Sometime around 02:01 PM 10/6/2004, miKe mcKoffee typed:
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--
John Nanci 
AlChemist at large
Zen Roasting , Blending & Espresso pulling by Gestalthttp://www.dreamsandbones.net/blog/http://www.chocolatealchemy.com/

9) From: Barbara Greenspon
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
Mike, you continue to help us know you and appreciate who you are.  What 
an amazingly told story.  What a creative family.
Take care,
Barbara
AlChemist John wrote:
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10) From: Lesley Albjerg
Mike,
Thanks for sharing.  I often don't get to hear about death from this perspective.  I was with two men who died this week, and provided spiritual and emotional support to the family members.  When my job is done and I see them leave, I often wonder how they are doing.  I get to follow some families, but not as many as I would like.  Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing so much of your coffee expereince.  I am enjoying a fine cup of vac brewed Kona Blue Sky, roasted to a cinnamon roast!  Rich complex and that special Kona flavor that cannot be duplicated.
 
Les
aubrei  wrote:
Mike - I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother and so encouraged to read of the way you & your family handled it.  I don't often write into the List though I read most of them, but I had to respond to this one.  My dad is fighting several kinds of cancer at the moment, and we're in one-day-at-a-time mode.  I'm always looking for, and so pleased to find here, true experiences of how others handle this most difficult of situations.  And oddly, some of the best conversations I've had with my mom, along with some of the good times with the family, have been over coffee.  It's a comfort for which I'll always be grateful.  Faith love & hope, Mike, and thanks so very much for giving that encouragement to the List.  Take care now,
- aubrei

11) From: peter z
Mike,
Sorry to hear about your mother. I am truly sorry for your loss. You 
have had a bad year with her passing so soon after your brother, and I 
admire the way you and your family have dealt with these tragedies.
You are right about coffee though, it IS more important than that ...
My prayers are with you.
PeterZ
miKe mcKoffee wrote:
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