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Topic: [For the PNGIII] (7 msgs / 322 lines)
1) From: Wandering Curmudgeon
/*   with apologies to those with no sense of humor.  My lawyer is  Gigs, Schulman, Cartwright and Veldeman  */
The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima,  and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai food.
14 In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark- while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25 You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones  after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk Season (Fall)
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.

2) From: Les
John,
I don't get number 30, where is the Joke?    We don't tan, we rust. 
As long as folks believe these things, they will not move here and
that is fine with me.  From where I live in Oregon I can be in a rain
forest if I travel 2 hours West and in a High Desert if I travel 3
hours East.  Two hours West of me the annual rainfall is about 80
inches, 3 hours east of me the annual rainfall is about 10 inches. 
When I want snow in the winter, I drive to it in about 45 minutes.  I
live in a very temperate climate that gets about a third of the rain
of Portland and we go from May through the first half of October with
very little rain and low humidity.  It gets into the 80s and low 90s
almost all summer and cools at night to the 50's.  Just don't let this
secret out!
Les
Roseburg, Oregon.
On 5/5/05, Wandering Curmudgeon  wrote:
<Snip>
 Schulman, Cartwright and Veldeman  */
The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal=
.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it
is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Vene=
to's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye Salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,
Yakima,  and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai food.
14 In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-
while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain,"
and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see
through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you
can actually see it.
21. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but
still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on=
.
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25 You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old
ones  after such a long time.
26. You measure distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still
Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk Season (Fall)
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.
<Snip>

3) From: Michael Dhabolt
Joke?
Mike (just plain (well washed))
On 5/5/05, Wandering Curmudgeon  wrote:
<Snip>
The Pacific Northwest According To
<Snip>
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty
<Snip>
3. Use the statement "sun
<Snip>
4. You know more than 10 ways to order
<Snip>
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6.
<Snip>
7. You stand on a
<Snip>
8. You consider
<Snip>
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's
<Snip>
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and
<Snip>
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah,
<Snip>
12. You consider swimming an indoor
<Snip>
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai
<Snip>
14 In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-
<Snip>
15. You never go camping without
<Snip>
16. You are not fazed by "Today's
<Snip>
wed
<Snip>
17. You have no concept of humidity without
<Snip>
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a
<Snip>
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you
<Snip>
20. You notice, "The mountain is out"
<Snip>
21. You put on your
<Snip>
ts
<Snip>
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep
<Snip>
23. You have actually used your mountain bike on a
<Snip>
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or
<Snip>
25 You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the
<Snip>
26. You measure distance in hours.
27.
<Snip>
28. You design your
<Snip>
29. You know all the
<Snip>
30. You actually understood
<Snip>
<Snip>

4) From: Wandering Curmudgeon
On Thu, 2005-05-05 at 18:01 -0700, Les wrote:
<Snip>
Les,
You know I know better.  Having lived up in Bellevue - flying into the
Valley every week I know that its wonderful and the weather is easy.
We've talked about the climb out of the Roseburg airport (which is now
different than when I flew in and out) looking at all those incredible
homes!   My folks moved to Grants Pass when Dad retired so we've got
lots of road miles in that turf. I just thought I'd let Jeff set the
stage for the Pub-Crawl next month.
John - living 10 pounds larger than normal and wondering why I ate all
that food on the ship

5) From: Les
Just like you John I like to brag about where I live.
Les
On 5/5/05, Wandering Curmudgeon  wrote:
<Snip>
I don't get number 30, where is the Joke? We don't tan, we rust. 
As
<Snip>
that is fine
<Snip>
forest if I travel 2
<Snip>
hours East. Two hours West of
<Snip>
inches, 3 hours east of me the annual
<Snip>
When I want snow in the winter, I drive to it
<Snip>
live in a very temperate climate that gets about a
<Snip>
of Portland and we go from May through the first half of
<Snip>
very little rain and low humidity. It gets into the 80s and low
<Snip>
almost all summer and cools at night to the 50's. Just don't let
<Snip>
secret out!
Les
Roseburg, Oregon.
<Snip>
ve
<Snip>
t
<Snip>
es
<Snip>
at
<Snip>

6) From: gil schluter
ahhhhhh
     I was born in Eugene.. went to school at OSU and UofO.  I used  
to love the people screaming at all of those moving in.... usually  
they had moved to Oregon a few years earlier....  the best one was  
the bumper sticker that said   Don't Californicate Idaho like they  
did Oregon....   ( hopefully that got some of them to move to  
Idaho ;-)    but now I live in California..    I miss the fishing  
( won't fish anywhere else just not the same ) and the smell of a  
fresh summer rain on my grandfathers ranch in Pendleton...    going  
to the ocean to get some smoked salmon.. taking my sled team out for  
a run in that beautiful snow...  god you guys are making cry .. I am  
homesick  .....
gil
On May 5, 2005, at 6:01 PM, Les wrote:
<Snip>

7) From: Alchemist John
Jokes, these were jokes? :O  Gods, they are SOOOOO true.
At 19:47 5/5/2005 -0500, you wrote:
<Snip>
John Nanci
AlChemist at large
Zen Roasting , Blending & Espresso pulling by Gestalthttp://www.chocolatealchemy.com/


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