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Topic: my trip to *$ (4 msgs / 95 lines)
1) From: akkmom
Tried to send this earlier, but not sure if it posted - sorry if it's a duplicate!
First, a disclaimer.  I hate *$ - I think the coffee served there is terrible - oily and burnt.  The smell wafting from the average *$ is bad - the opposite of appetizing.  But I've spent the better part of two days at the Hilton Hotel in Harrisburg, PA attending a criminal law continuing education symposium so I can continue in the practice of law for another year.  
The first thing I note, not for the first time, and with all due respect to any lawyers lurking on the list, is that lawyers as a general rule are a weird looking group.  Put 500 or so of them in a confined space and watch out...  
You have the young tarty ones who went to law school during the run of Ally McBeal and wear skirts that would make Daisy Duke blush.  You have the boomers with the bad combovers who, due to lack of charisma, have to hire actors to portray them in the local cable ad promising to help anyone who's taken fen-phen/vioxx/crestor/aleve (just a matter of time), had a dalkon shield, or slipped in thawed frozen blueberries at the piggly-wiggly.  You have the very senior gentlemen (and they are all gentlemen) who are "of counsel" - whatever that means - at some big firm who are sweet but condescending because they still can't quite grasp the fact that women can be lawyers too.  You have the young men who think they are quite studly (and by comparison to the rest of the lot, they probably are), but are in denial about the fact that, just by virtue of being an attorney, that are more than a little dorky.  
But on to the coffee part of things.  Attached to the Hilton is a shopping center of sorts called Strawberry Square (for reasons unknown to me, Harrisburg has adopted a strawberry as it's official fruit - they drop a giant one on New Years Eve, which seems weird until you learn that Falmouth, PA drops a goat - maybe it's a Pennsylvania thing).  In this center is a shoe shine place, a B Dalton bookseller, a GNC, a Smith Barney investment firm, and a food court.  A few other stores, but I'm never been to them, so I couldn't tell you what they are. There used to be a coffee shop that made passable brewed coffee - not the best but definitely drinkable.  
So between getting myself out of bed (forgot to set the alarm clock - I have a toddler and an infant, what need do I have on an alarm clock?), getting dressed, getting the two kids dressed and out the door with my husband, and driving across the river to Harrisburg, I haven't had any time to make coffee at home.  But that's okay, because there's passable brewed coffee waiting for me in Strawberry Square, right?
The first thing I notice when I get off the elevator is that directly in front of me is a *$.  Wasn't there a year ago, so this is a recent development.  And sure enough, the Deli Bean or Coffee Bean or whatever it was that sold passable coffee, is empty.  Just a sign in the windows thanking customers for their loyalty and support.  Sad.  That's okay - I can survive until lunch without coffee, right?
First three hours (that's right, three, with one 20 minute break) are updates on changes to criminal case law and statutes.  Not the most fascinating subjects, but at least the speakers are decent and know their stuff.  I'm so tired when it ends, I just go to my car in the parking deck and take a nap - a nap and no coffee because the smell from the *$ is awful.  But I get a nap, so that should keep me until the afternoon, right.  I'm not that much of an addict, am I?
Back from lunch.  I walk into what I think is a lecture on "Zen and the art of Criminal Defense" - maybe they'll throw some motorcycle maintenance into the mix, who knows.  But wait - this is the wrong room - they've already started and there are only 10 people in the room (which should have tipped me off, but I'm not the most observant of people as evidenced by my walking into the wrong lecture and not realizing it for 5 minutes).  The subject is "the electronic courtroom," which turns out to be an even less interesting subject than the title would indicate.  Worse yet, the speaker is a judge, so I can't just tune him out in case I have to argue in front of him some day.  Wow - did you know that if you use a projector and show the jury pretty pictures and bulleted sentences of three words, you can trick them into thinking your client is innocent?  Bet you didn't.  
My head starts to ache from the lack of caffeine.  I'm drifting off.  Wait - everyone is clapping.  Does that mean I can leave?  The next hour is on auto stops - what's new in 2005?  I don't know and I don't really care - bottom line, if the police ask to search your car, say no.  Especially if you're carrying two pounds of heroin in the trunk...
Last lecture - the dreaded ethics hour.  Not dreaded because I have none, but because I follow the tried and true philosophy of "if you have to ask whether you can do something you probably can't."  The title "Crossing the line: the ethics of zealous representation" or "how to avoid becoming as reprehensible as your cleint." - the subtitle is my own.
Okay - so I go to *$.  I can't stop myself.  It smells terrible, but it should keep me awake - at least by its sheer awfulness.  I get some Ethiopian coffee that is described as "lemony."  Okay, I like lemon, but not in my coffee.  First sip is so hot, I can't really taste anything.  Which is good, because the point is to get my fix of caffeine, not to actually taste anything.  As it cools, I detect a sourness - maybe that's the lemon? - and try not to make faces as I consume it.  While lawyers are a strange bunch, most of them would notice my mouth contorting as I drink something from a paper cup.  It's terrible coffee, but the headache is receding, and my day is finally over, so I can now go home and drink some home roast.
The lessons to be learned?  1) Never take Sweet Marias for granted, and be grateful for the supply of great beans I can roast to support my habit; 2) remember to set the alarm so I have time to make my own coffee in the morning; and 3) never let the police search your car if you have drugs anywhere inside (I can't stress this last one enough).
Tara - back in the office and enjoying a press pot of Kona freshly ground on my Zass...
Tried to send this earlier, but not sure if it posted - sorry if it's a duplicate!
 
First, a disclaimer.  I hate *$ - I think the coffee served there is terrible - oily and burnt.  The smell wafting from the average *$ is bad - the opposite of appetizing.  But I've spent the better part of two days at the Hilton Hotel in Harrisburg, PA attending a criminal law continuing education symposium so I can continue in the practice of law for another year.  
 
The first thing I note, not for the first time, and with all due respect to any lawyers lurking on the list, is that lawyers as a general rule are a weird looking group.  Put 500 or so of them in a confined space and watch out...  
 
You have the young tarty ones who went to law school during the run of Ally McBeal and wear skirts that would make Daisy Duke blush.  You have the boomers with the bad combovers who, due to lack of charisma, have to hire actors to portray them in the local cable ad promising to help anyone who's taken fen-phen/vioxx/crestor/aleve (just a matter of time), had a dalkon shield, or slipped in thawed frozen blueberries at the piggly-wiggly.  You have the very senior gentlemen (and they are all gentlemen) who are "of counsel" - whatever that means - at some big firm who are sweet but condescending because they still can't quite grasp the fact that women can be lawyers too.  You have the young men who think they are quite studly (and by comparison to the rest of the lot, they probably are), but are in denial about the fact that, just by virtue of being an attorney, that are more than a little dorky.  
 
But on to the coffee part of things.  Attached to the Hilton is a shopping center of sorts called Strawberry Square (for reasons unknown to me, Harrisburg has adopted a strawberry as it's official fruit - they drop a giant one on New Years Eve, which seems weird until you learn that Falmouth, PA drops a goat - maybe it's a Pennsylvania thing).  In this center is a shoe shine place, a B Dalton bookseller, a GNC, a Smith Barney investment firm, and a food court.  A few other stores, but I'm never been to them, so I couldn't tell you what they are. There used to be a coffee shop that made passable brewed coffee - not the best but definitely drinkable.  
 
So between getting myself out of bed (forgot to set the alarm clock - I have a toddler and an infant, what need do I have on an alarm clock?), getting dressed, getting the two kids dressed and out the door with my husband, and driving across the river to Harrisburg, I haven't had any time to make coffee at home.  But that's okay, because there's passable brewed coffee waiting for me in Strawberry Square, right?
 
The first thing I notice when I get off the elevator is that directly in front of me is a *$.  Wasn't there a year ago, so this is a recent development.  And sure enough, the Deli Bean or Coffee Bean or whatever it was that sold passable coffee, is empty.  Just a sign in the windows thanking customers for their loyalty and support.  Sad.  That's okay - I can survive until lunch without coffee, right?
 
First three hours (that's right, three, with one 20 minute break) are updates on changes to criminal case law and statutes.  Not the most fascinating subjects, but at least the speakers are decent and know their stuff.  I'm so tired when it ends, I just go to my car in the parking deck and take a nap - a nap and no coffee because the smell from the *$ is awful.  But I get a nap, so that should keep me until the afternoon, right.  I'm not that much of an addict, am I?
 
Back from lunch.  I walk into what I think is a lecture on "Zen and the art of Criminal Defense" - maybe they'll throw some motorcycle maintenance into the mix, who knows.  But wait - this is the wrong room - they've already started and there are only 10 people in the room (which should have tipped me off, but I'm not the most observant of people as evidenced by my walking into the wrong lecture and not realizing it for 5 minutes).  The subject is "the electronic courtroom," which turns out to be an even less interesting subject than the title would indicate.  Worse yet, the speaker is a judge, so I can't just tune him out in case I have to argue in front of him some day.  Wow - did you know that if you use a projector and show the jury pretty pictures and bulleted sentences of three words, you can trick them into thinking your client is innocent?  Bet you didn't.  
 
My head starts to ache from the lack of caffeine.  I'm drifting off.  Wait - everyone is clapping.  Does that mean I can leave?  The next hour is on auto stops - what's new in 2005?  I don't know and I don't really care - bottom line, if the police ask to search your car, say no.  Especially if you're carrying two pounds of heroin in the trunk...
 
Last lecture - the dreaded ethics hour.  Not dreaded because I have none, but because I follow the tried and true philosophy of "if you have to ask whether you can do something you probably can't."  The title "Crossing the line: the ethics of zealous representation" or "how to avoid becoming as reprehensible as your cleint." - the subtitle is my own.
 
Okay - so I go to *$.  I can't stop myself.  It smells terrible, but it should keep me awake - at least by its sheer awfulness.  I get some Ethiopian coffee that is described as "lemony."  Okay, I like lemon, but not in my coffee.  First sip is so hot, I can't really taste anything.  Which is good, because the point is to get my fix of caffeine, not to actually taste anything.  As it cools, I detect a sourness - maybe that's the lemon? - and try not to make faces as I consume it.  While lawyers are a strange bunch, most of them would notice my mouth contorting as I drink something from a paper cup.  It's terrible coffee, but the headache is receding, and my day is finally over, so I can now go home and drink some home roast.
 
The lessons to be learned?  1) Never take Sweet Marias for granted, and be grateful for the supply of great beans I can roast to support my habit; 2) remember to set the alarm so I have time to make my own coffee in the morning; and 3) never let the police search your car if you have drugs anywhere inside (I can't stress this last one enough).
 
Tara - back in the office and enjoying a press pot of Kona freshly ground on my Zass...

2) From: miKe mcKoffee
Nope, post wasn't a duplicate, it was a triplicate!-) Good story though...
miKe
From: 
Sent: Monday, June 06, 2005 11:48 AM
<Snip>

3) From: Rick Copple
akkmom wrote:
<Snip>
What a hoot, thanks for the laughs!
-- 
Rick Copple
Marble Falls, TX

4) From: Jerry Procopio
Great story Tara!
Jerry
akkmom wrote:
<Snip>


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