HomeRoast Digest

Topic: OT - Junk Mail (17 msgs / 369 lines)
1) From: Mike Chester
Check out this guys idea of how to deal with junk mail:http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id499I wonder if you can really send something that big?
Mike Chester

2) From: Leo Zick
before i paid bills online, i put all my ads from the week into the payment
envelopes, with the check hidden in there somewhere.
On 5/3/07, Mike Chester  wrote:

3) From: Lynne Biziewski
That is TOO funny!

4) From: john nanavati
I figured out a great way to work with telemarketers - actually, i look
forward to them now.
i simply hand the phone over to my two-year old. he loves it and they don't
call back ;- )
On 5/3/07, Mike Chester  wrote:
John Nanavati, DHI, CIT
Plainfield, New Jersey

5) From: miKe mcKoffee
Oh the disappointment, today's junk mail didn't have any PP envelopes in
Just have to save it for later! :-)
Pacific Northwest Gathering Vhttp://home.comcast.net/~mckona/PNWGV.htmKona Kurmudgeon miKe mcKoffee
URL to Rosto mods, FrankenFormer, some recipes etc:http://mdmint.home.comcast.net/coffee/Rosto_mod.htmUltimately the quest for Koffee Nirvana is a solitary path. To know I must
first not know. And in knowing know I know not. Each Personal enlightenment
found exploring the many divergent foot steps of Those who have gone before.
Sweet Maria's List - Searchable Archiveshttp://themeyers.org/HomeRoast/

6) From: Patrick S. Harper
I start talking to them when they call, ask them what they are wearing, what
color their underwear is, and a bunch of other stuff I wont talk about on
this list.  Loads of fun :)

My kids claim I'm nuts, but when I get those pesky "YOUR APPROVED" junkmail,
I simply open all the envelopes, dump the contents on the automan, mark "NO"
across any line that appears to be an agreement. Then comes the fun. I mix
and match the contents with the envelopes, and insert them along with out of
date cents off coupons, local market ads, obsolete bill of material sheet
from my work and anything handy that is paper. My goal is to overfill the
envelope so that when it goes through the meter is is overweight and costs
twice the metered rate. So in essence the junkmailer is paying for their own
trash [along with a little extra] three times, and has to dispose of it
Many claim that junk mail helps the post office in revenue. Well I figure
that I am doing my part to increase the postal service revenue also.
On 5/3/07, Mike Chester  wrote:
Start HOT and work your way Down...
Peppers AND Coffee.
(I'm the tall guy in the middle)

8) From: raymanowen
I have two favorites:
   1. Ring Ring
A few milliseconds pause, then comes the vacuous
Then I ask, "So, the whole order should be shipped together, right? And when
did you say that was- I was afraid we got cut off..."
     2.  The ubiquitous Free*
Cheers -RayO, aka Opa!
Got Grinder?

9) From: Angelo
I think it's just easier to put your number on the do-not-call list. 
I did that, and have only had one or two calls every 6 months. 
Charities are allowed to call, but most others are not...and don't.

10) From: raymanowen
"Charities are allowed to call..."
No, they're not- and the fools that think they are, have my ear for ten
seconds, and that's what I tell them.
Then they have to explain their organizational scam while I take notes.
"What is the name and direct phone number of the person that told you to
call me? __ Oh, well- by the same logic, you are not allowed to call me.
Have a good day, Thank You, please."
Or, "Let me call you right back. I'm translating some stolen Clay Tablets
from the original tongue, and I'm trying to piece them together to make
sense, before I sneak 'em back in to the museum. Are you, perchance,
familiar with the old Aramaic verb forms? I think that's what I have
Sometimes my battery goes dead or the line gets very noisy. It's my laughin'
tree when the scams call. Thankfully, maybe the microwave is running and I
hold the [cordless] phone near the front window. It gets bad, my phone zone.
Cheers -RayO, aka Opa!
It's my do not call list

11) From: Paula Golladay
Thanks for the link, sadly I have placed my home, cell, and my  
husbands cell number on the list 2 times within 2 years and I still  
get call, I truly hate the ones that call after 9.  I am an a very  
early riser so often in bed at 8:30-9.  One time in the recent past I  
had a call at 11pm.  It scared the nerves out of me since all my mind  
raced to is:  that one of my adult child was inured, one of my  
grandchildren was injured, and or my husband who is in the Army  and  
overseas right now was injured.  Yes I blasted the caller, perhaps  
not the best way to handle the situation but I was truly upset.
I will try again!!!
On May 4, 2007, at 12:16 AM, Angelo wrote:

12) From: Paula Golladay
How Clever!
I must give some of your answers to the ones that call me.  I don't  
answer Unknown I don't know anyone by that name.  Most times my  
answering machine will pick up and of course they never leave a  
message.  The only time I pick up where it say Private is that it  
could be my husband calling from Kosovo where he is deployed right  
now.  When he can use the army phone for 15 minutes it will pop up  
private on my end.  I surely do not wish to miss his call.  He keeps  
screaming for good coffee, and this is a man who make any true coffee  
lovers stomach to turn.  He will drink day old brewed coffee, coffee  
made from a sock in boiling water, hopefully the sock was clean, hey  
when you are out in never never land you will try anything.  But he  
misses my roasting fresh for him.
Off the subject a bit but I love your answers I am going to try to  
Ten Commandments one first.  Oh by the way I can translate Aramaic  
either.  Now ASL I can since I am a professional sign language  
Happy days,
On May 4, 2007, at 1:45 AM, raymanowen wrote:

13) From: Aaron
 I start having phone sex with them, most of them hang right up in 
disgust.... the ones who don't well, let the fun begin and if they get 
upset at it I say hey, YOU called me, you are the one intruding into my 
life.  If you dont like what I have to say then quit calling me.
The charities now, I am getting really tired of them calling.  this is 
the police department, the fire department etc etc, we are having our 
annual xx fundraiser... didn't you just call last month with a fund 
raiser???  I tell them, well, the $35 I had set aside for your charity I 
had to use to pay for a speeding ticket, so sorry bud.
I will admit though that since I put my name on the do not call list, 
and have that call screening or whatever the heck bellsouth calls it, I 
went from probably about 4 or 5 a day to maybe two a month at most.
One little game they can play if they are really sneaky is, they can 
call and ask for one person, and if the other person answers and says 
no, they technically can keep calling, because they never did get a hold 
of that one person.  So if the wife says he don't want to talk to you, 
since they never did get in touch with the husband, they can call every 
day until the husband actually answers the phone.
the ones that really burn me though are the ones where they will call 
you, but it's a computer which will then  put you on hold to wait for a 
person ...THOSE I will wait for to have a very colorful one way dialogue 
with the idiot who does finally answer and again, and again, if they 
don't like it, they too can quit calling me.
speaking of the nasty coffee,  reminds me of navy coffee.  the urn has 
been stewing at 195 degrees for two days, they don't make new coffee, ie 
drain the old out, rinse wash the pot, nope, they just throw more 
grounds on top of the previous grounds and hit the perk button,  change 
the grounds out once the basket is almost overflowing...  NOTHING in the 
world is tastier than coffee that's been boiling for 18 hours until it 
taste like burnt .. I don't know what that taste was to be honest but it 
was not very nice.
Then we went 'gourmet'... they did away with the traditional coffee pot 
and had some foofy little whizzer thing where the coffee was a thick 
syrup... or powder depending on which model machine was bought, and it'd 
whirr it into hot water as it squirted it into your cup. ... Or you 
could get cappucino where it'd squirt some artificial chemically 
induced  milk squeezins into the whizzer thing and into your cup too... 
or hot cocoa, which if you let it cool turned into concrete in the 
bottom of your cup...This was about the time that I put anything that 
came out of mess decks coffee 'device' off limits in CCS and made having 
a fresh pot of coffee made with our coffee machine a watch turnover 
item.  We ended up having a mix of many beans from many places, and 
would mix and match and grind and brew our own coffee. and the supply 
officer was NOT allowed to EVER have any of our good coffee since it was 
his idea to get the stupid whirry machine in the first place.  Even the 
CO would come down every morning to fill up his cup.  So with that, 
coffee ran through a sock doesn't sound all that bad afterall.  Oh and 
we just can't forget those who'd not only make a pot of coffee using 
half a pound of grounds, but then stir in two packets of instant coffee 
into it and drink it.... How their stomachs survived Ill never know.

Just to let you know your not 'denying' any charity their money. These
callers are basically paid telephone-spammers. And the 'charity event' for
the 'police, fire of whoever department' have only signed a contract with
these scammers for a percentage of the "profits" from the event.
What usually happens is that these scammers incur a lot of unforeseen
expenses and walk away with 90 to 99% of the gate receipts. Charity????
No...Just another scam...just using a legitimate name or agency...Hang up on
these thieves...
On 5/4/07, Aaron  wrote:
Start HOT and work your way Down...
Peppers AND Coffee.
(I'm the tall guy in the middle)

15) From: Tom Ulmer
There is a service available from the local phone company in my area called
"Privacy Director". You must have the caller ID function available. In
essence it routes any unknown call (99% of the call centers) through a maze
including a recorded no solicit message before the phone ever rings. The
caller is asked to identify themselves into a recorded message which is then
played when the phone is answered. At that point you may accept, reject,
and/or block the number permanently without ever talking directly to anyone.
Unfortunately it is only available to residential service.
It may block more calls than I would truly wish but I am not aware and
greatly enjoy the results.

16) From: Howellite
I saw this using just the envelope not too long ago.  I was not sure if
it would work. But knowing that you can attach the envelope to a package
and have the solicitor pay the tab is genius!
Paul Andres

17) From: Kevin
That is too cool!
On 5/19/07, Howellite  wrote:
My home coffee roasting blog:http://homecoffeeroastblog.blogspot.com/Kevin

HomeRoast Digest