HomeRoast Digest


Topic: OT: The Loss of my Best Friend (9 msgs / 585 lines)
1) From: Yakster
Lynne,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.  We lost Corvette, our toy poodle, while I
was in Italy.  My wife had to take her to the emergency vet, but it was too
late, and being in Italy, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
I just got back from a walk with our two remaining poodle mixed breeds, but
its not the same without her.
Here's hoping 2011's a better year.
-Chris
Pecked out on my mobile phone.
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2) From: Yakster
Lynne,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.  We lost Corvette, our toy poodle, while I
was in Italy.  My wife had to take her to the emergency vet, but it was too
late, and being in Italy, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
I just got back from a walk with our two remaining poodle mixed breeds, but
its not the same without her.
Here's hoping 2011's a better year.
-Chris
Pecked out on my mobile phone.
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3) From: mary deem
I am so sorry about your loss. So often it is our pets that provide that
perfect unspoken comfort...and you lost yours just when you needed him the
most.  I am glad that you have Emma and Sammy though.
I lost my favorite horse Jolie 5 years ago and I still miss her. To this day
there are are a few songs (I used to ride to music) that remain hers only.
I was talking to an older neighbor yesterday who had to sell his horses due
to his ill health (cancer). His doctor recommended that he stop riding and
get rid of his horses.  He said that he loved those horses and selling them
'took the pizazz out of him'.
I think he expressed perfectly what happens when we lose our pets - we loose
a little part of ourselves.
Like Michael, I have experienced some of the greatest growth during these
times. I think it is important to reach out to friends and family...and even
this humble mailing list.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mary
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4) From: Edward Bourgeois
Dear Lynne,
My best to ya. hang in there. You are a very caring person.
care,
Ed
On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 12:45 PM, Andy Thomas  wrote:
<Snip>
-- 
Ed Bourgeois aka farmroast
Amherst MA.http://coffee-roasting.blogspot.com/Homeroast mailing list
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5) From: raymanowen
Lynne-
While the stated purpose of this list is specifically the home roasting of
green coffee, it's not just a "crib sheet" for people wanting to know what
button to push so their roaster will roast. Among friends with a common
hobby, it's not just a "choose from this list of words," and [these
thoughts] that make the Chairman happy.
I remember the last ride to the vet with Harvey, our snow white lop house
rabbit. With every bone in my body, I desperately wanted to turn the Damn
Bronco around, head back home and let Harvey out the back door for another
launch off the back porch into some soft grass or deep soft snow.
Wasn't going to happen- the spectacular leaps across the yard had
disintegrated some vertebrae. It was the end of the line for Harvey, so he
was going in for the needle. I had to steel myself as I held Harvey against
my ear and heard his respiration and heart beat fade away. What could I have
done? We're supposed to be stewards of the little critters. Shit Shit Shit!
Rong word list- sorry  -ro
On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 7:05 AM, michael brown  wrote:
<Snip>
-- 
Persist in old ways; expect new results - suborn Insanity...
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6) From: Peter Louton
Hi Lynne,
I'm am so sorry for your loss.  I lost, Godiva, my lab of 15 years and 10 months, almost 5 years ago and I still think about her every day.  It gets easier, but I don't think it gets better.  Even though it was  the 3rd hardest thing I've ever had to do, I am so glad I was with her at the end.  I always try to tell myself another story about her and something she did.  Good or bad, like the time she was almost a year old and thought all of my girlfriends underwear was a soft chewtoy.  It is funny now, but she left her with one pair of underwear, the pair she was wearing.  I do know that if she was alive now, my green beans would be fair game for her to eat and enjoy.  She loved small crunchy things.  Well, Lynne, I'll drink a toast tonight  at work for Shiloh.
Peter
-- Sent from my Palm Pre
On Oct 9, 2010 14:59, raymanowen <raymanowen> wrote: 
Lynne-
While the stated purpose of this list is specifically the home roasting of
green coffee, it's not just a "crib sheet" for people wanting to know what
button to push so their roaster will roast. Among friends with a common
hobby, it's not just a "choose from this list of words," and [these
thoughts] that make the Chairman happy.
I remember the last ride to the vet with Harvey, our snow white lop house
rabbit. With every bone in my body, I desperately wanted to turn the Damn
Bronco around, head back home and let Harvey out the back door for another
launch off the back porch into some soft grass or deep soft snow.
Wasn't going to happen- the spectacular leaps across the yard had
disintegrated some vertebrae. It was the end of the line for Harvey, so he
was going in for the needle. I had to steel myself as I held Harvey against
my ear and heard his respiration and heart beat fade away. What could I have
done? We're supposed to be stewards of the little critters. Shit Shit Shit!
Rong word list- sorry  -ro
On Sat, Oct 9, 2010 at 7:05 AM, michael brown <disracer> wrote:
>
> I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.I worked 5yrs as a tech at an
> emergency animal clinic. it was never easy, and we had to deal with those
> kinds of decisions with owners several times, every shift.In my experience,
> i've experienced the most intense growth in times of pain and tribulations.I
> do believe its important to reach out, lean, and share with all your
> networks and communities.
>
> > From: lynnebiz
> > Date: Sat, 9 Oct 2010 00:29:08 -0400
> > To: homeroast
> > Subject: [Homeroast] OT:  The Loss of my Best Friend
> >
> > Been going through a lot these days, and just feel like I need to share
> with
> > my
> > homeroast family. Please forgive me for the departure from
> > coffee-conversation.
> >
> > This year has really sucked big time (can I say that on the list? - well,
> it
> > *has*) Before
> > Easter, (in fact, the day before my birthday) a dear friend of mine,
> someone
> > I've known
> > for almost 30 yrs, passed away. (It was due to the injuries fr a car
> > accident - but she'd
> > been recently diagnosed w/Alzheimers, so it was a bittersweet blessing,
> of
> > sorts - she
> > didn't suffer for long). I was still in shock when I heard the news that
> she
> > had passed -
> > and then -
> >
> > Well, then my ex-boyfriend (despite our differences, we remained friends
> and
> > spoke daily)
> > passed away shortly after his doctor at the VA told him they suspected he
> > had leukemia.
> > It was like the blink of an eye - leukemia is certainly lacking in
> kindness,
> > sneaking up on
> > people and not giving them enough time to realize what is to come...
> >
> >
> > Then a couple of wks ago, my ex-husband (who had cancer for many years)
> > passed on - lots
> > of memories, good and not-so-good, all mixed up for myself and my four
> > now-adult children
> > (amazing kids, I must say); we've felt a terrible loss there, no matter
> what
> > we'd gone through
> > years ago.
> >
> > But the final thorn was this past week - my dear, sweet Shiloh, my pal,
> my
> > heart-of-my-heart,
> > who had so many health issues for so long, took a turn literally
> overnight
> > (had no sleep, as I
> > stayed up with him all night long). He was part Border Collie, maybe part
> > Bernese Mountain dog
> > and maybe some retriever - and def. part human. We took him to the vet
> > immediately when they
> > opened on Wed morning - she treated him for an ear infection, but gently
> let
> > us know that she
> > suspected cancer. He was totally blind, she said (explained why he was
> > bumping into us & the
> > wall the night before), and she felt the source was something very
> serious.
> > He had also lost his
> > hearing some time before - to compensate, I was using touch to
> communicate &
> > comfort him.
> > When he'd have a particularly anxious night, he'd sit next to me & I'd
> pet
> > him nearly constantly
> > while I was at the computer, or would give him rub downs, gentle so as
> not
> > to aggrevate what
> > we thought was arthritis in is hind legs. I thought he was experiencing
> > canine cognitive dysfunction -
> > doggie dementia - since he was 12 1/2 yrs old, but it was much worse.
> >
> > We (my son was w/me the whole time, thank heaven above, as I don't know
> how
> > I would have
> > handled it alone) took him home, and he was never able to stand up again,
> > despite his constantly
> > trying.
> >
> > That evening, I had no choice but to make that horrible decision, since
> his
> > condition progressed
> > so rapidly - and he was suffering so much. At least my he's not suffering
> > anymore.
> >
> > Anyone who has ever felt close to an animal of any kind - you know.
> >
> > I know I'll be fine - it'll take some time, I'm sure. Tried to prepare
> > myself for this, for a couple of years
> > now, but you know, you just can't prepare for this, no matter what. You
> just
> > have to accept.
> >
> > I'm having my time crying, off and on. Tomorrow I'll get up, take my Emma
> > and Sammy for a walk,
> > then after I make my moka pot of homeroast, I'll spend some time cuddling
> my
> > two guys (guy & gal,
> > actually), just like I did today - and I'll thank God he brought these
> two
> > in my life.
> >
> > Then I'll try to get busy, which is a darn good medicine at times like
> this,
> > so I won't notice the pain in
> > my heart too much.
> >
> > --
> > *"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
> "
> >
> > Anatole France*
> >
> > Homeroast mailing list
> > Homeroast
> >
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>
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>
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-- 
Persist in old ways; expect new results - suborn Insanity...
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7) From: Lynne
I want to thank each & every one of you for your kind, kind words, and for
sharing your own heartbreaking stories. Feeling a bit more blue today, and
it's hard to write about my sweetie. I'm going to get myself outside and
breathe in some fresh sea air, and comfort myself (and my other two doggies)
by walking our usual route.
I'm aware of the different stages of grief - I'm only watching myself not to
let the anger stage explode at my landlord and/or his
girlfriend-in-residence. Being the still-naive person I am (thought I
matured past that!) I didn't realize that when I moved in here (beautiful
location, deal was a bit lower rent to watch their dogs while on vacation),
their expectations of my responsibilities would increase as the weeks &
months went along, to the point where she wanted me to clean their twelve
room house (yep, twelve rooms - for two people?! Can't even comprehend
that...) and complained about my bed-making abilities. Yeah, call me an
idiot for even trying to help out..
Anyway, I'm not in their good measure anymore. After we came home from my
ex-husband's wake, funeral & burial that took more than 14hrs, I had a
confrontation with her (therefore referred to the Ice Queen), because we
forgot to shut the lights before we left. Yeah. Really.
I ended up calling her a bitch.
Think I shocked my kids when I told them. Def not in my nature. After all is
said & done, and I'm in a safe apt (my son won't leave me because he doesn't
feel I'm safe here alone), I'm sure this will become the story my kids tell
at all our gatherings, lol. Now I'm not walking on eggshells after Shiloh's
passing. Something about that just made me a teeny bit stronger, I think,
even though I'm crying my eyes out right now (my disability protects me from
eviction, and they know that), but I have to begin that crappy search for
yet another apartment, and oh, do I hate that, along w/actually moving.
Amazing that some people think that money gives them the right to be
downright nasty people, and makes them feel they can kick people when they
are down.
How on earth can people like that  look at themselves in the mirror?
In short, I'm hoping not to see or talk to them, because I know, feeling the
way I do, I could crack yet again! Sheesh - I don't want to make things even
worse here.
Lynne
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8) From: Dhananjaya
That's easy, Lynne - they see the mask they hide behind, not the true self
behind it.
It's really sad for them, but stay cool and think of it as a character
building opportunity :-).
DJ

9) From: Lynne
Thanks, DJ. Sorry everyone, too, for ranting. Through all this pain, through
my finally seeing the *mean*-ness of these people (I always try to see the
bigger picture in life, and try to understand where others are coming from -
this time, though, I finally have said, "Enough!") - well, I also realize it
makes it easier for me to move on, in many ways.
And yes - getting lots of character building lately, lol! Ha!
Lynne
On Sun, Oct 10, 2010 at 3:19 PM, Dhananjaya <
djgarcia> wrote:
<Snip>
*"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "
Anatole France*
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